Glee - The First Time

Network: Fox
Time: Tuesdays, 8:00-9:00pm
Cast: Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Chris Colfer, Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch, Amber Riley, Kevin McHale, Jenna Ushkowitz, Dianna Agron, Mark Salling, Darren Criss, Harry Shum Jr., Naya Rivera, Heather Morris, Jayma Mays, Dot Marie Jones

WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

Summary (from imdb.com): Under Artie's directorial leadership, the kids prepare to perform the school musical "West Side Story." Meanwhile, Finn meets with a recruiter and Coach Beiste has an admirer.

Review: It's possible my expectations for this show are too high, but I find myself more and more disappointed by Glee, this episode in particular. I'd heard through the grapevine that this was one of the best episodes of the season, if not the show. Yet to me, everything seemed to fall flat. That's not to say there weren't moments I enjoyed; there were actually a lot of little things I liked. But the biggest parts just left me wanting.

Obviously, the biggest part of this episode was Rachel and Blaine (and Kurt) losing their virginity (virginities?). Ironically, I think this means the only virgins left at McKinley High are both teachers (Emma and Beiste). In typical Glee style, there's been very little up to this point to imply that either of these couples is even considering this step, but the entire episode focused on it anyway. From Artie calling Rachel and Blaine out during rehearsal (hi, teachers, you don't want to step in here?) to both of their failed attempts at seducing their boyfriends to the eventual doing of the deed, nothing about this storyline made me root for either of them. Everything felt awkward. I suppose that's realistic enough, but frankly, Glee has never been known for its realism, so why start there? In fact, the only part I liked was Kurt pushing drunk Blaine away and sticking up for himself.

Side note: The person responsible for dressing Blaine should be fired. And possibly stoned. Seriously, did they run out of material for his pants so they have to stop four inches above his ankles?

Each couple had their own story, which was supposed to somehow tie into the sex. For Kurt and Blaine, it was the introduction of Sebastian the Wonder Warbler (yeah, I giggled over that for a few minutes). Sebastian is essentially Blaine's replacement at Dalton, though they apparently got rid of the soloist angle and are now featuring multiple singers. He's also gay and very interested in Blaine. So much so that Kurt feels threatened. This story, also in typical Glee fashion, is promptly wrapped up by the end. Blaine isn't interested in Sebastian. He loves Kurt. Blaine and Kurt have sex. All is right in the world.

Even the scene in the gay bar did nothing for me, except that it marked the return of the new and improved (I think) Karofsky. While I found it mildly amusing that he was talking about surviving high school while sucking down a beer, I did like the softer side of him. He managed to be vulnerable without being neutered at the same time. And the conversation between him and Kurt showed how both of them have matured since last season nicely.

I did, however, like the Warblers' version of "Uptown Girl." I miss the Warblers.

For Finn and Rachel, they focused much more on the idea that Rachel felt like she couldn't act like a girl experiencing a sexual awakening if she'd never had sex. So first she tried to seduce Finn on her own. And, of course, nothing is sexier than honesty, so she told him the only reason she wanted to do this now was so she could be ready for the play. Finn experienced what I believe to be his first normal emotion of the season: hurt.

Finn also had his own issues. He was trying to get the recruiter from the Ohio State University to notice him on the football field, so he could achieve his own dream of playing quarterback for them. Alas, it was not to be. Then Finn had what I believe was his best moment of the series, where he melted down about his future in front of Rachel. This could have been a wonderful moment. Instead, Rachel decided the best way to deal with his problems and feelings of insecurity were to sleep with him. Sure, in the short term this might work, but I do hope Glee plans to revisit this issue. It'd be nice for Finn to have a story that doesn't revolve around him being a jerk to someone then feeling bad about it for a change.

This ties in nicely with my favorite story of the night: Beiste gets a man. There was absolutely nothing about this arc that I didn't like (except for Artie being involved). Beiste was adorable in her cluelessness. Cooter was wonderfully sweet while trying to win her over. And the look on Beiste's face when he finally got through to her was heartbreaking. Any girl who's ever felt insecure about herself melted just a little there.

Overall, I was not terribly impressed by this episode, despite having heard good things about it in advance. I'm getting tired of the way each episode seems to be disconnected from the others. Characters do one thing in today's episode, then have a completely different personality and friends next week (except, somehow, elections for class president will drag on halfway to Christmas). Even the music was only mediocre this week, with the West Side Story theme, though I did like the cuts between the music and the story that was going on elsewhere. I also loved Mike Chang. I don't know what I want Glee to do to engage me in the episodes again, but they need to do something soon, or they'll be in danger of losing my attention completely.

Rating: 3/5

Favorite Line:
Puck: As for the condoms — no idea, never used ‘em. It’s worked out for me about 99% of the time.

Email me at NewarkCrimeTV@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter.

Glee - The Purple Piano Project

Network: Fox
Time: Tuesdays, 8:00-9:00pm
Cast: Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch, Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Chris Colfer, Amber Riley, Kevin McHale, Jenna Ushkowitz, Mark Salling, Dianna Agron, Heather Morris, Naya Rivera, Harry Shum Jr., Darren Criss, Jayma Mays

Summary: Its fall and that means back to school for the students and faculty at McKinley High. The New Directions clan returns after a devastating loss at Nationals, so Mr. Schuester assigns a project to get them back on track. Meanwhile, Sue Sylvester starts her congressional campaign.

Review: Oh, Glee.

I don't understand how a show can be so simultaneously frustrating and wonderful. There were moments in this episode that reminded me of every reason I began watching. And there were moments where I just shook my head at the disaster.

Let's do a pro-con list for this one. Pro: The music. I feel like Glee tried to be so poppy last season that the music began to suffer (Justin Bieber? Come on...). This episode went back to its roots: Broadway and classic pop/rock. There were songs from the Wiz, Anything Goes, Hairspray, Tom Jones and the Go-Go's. Don't get me wrong, I like when they do (some of) the modern stuff too, but this is the stuff that made me first fall in love with this show. Also, unlike in other episodes, I felt like all the songs worked in this episode. They were well-sung, well-choreographed (come on, tell me Rachel and Kurt's broom dance didn't make you smile just a little), and well-produced.

Con: Quinn. Ugh, girl, get it together. While I dig the smoke-raspy voice (which I'm sure won't make her singing voice anymore interesting) and the pink hair, I'm not feeling the Quinn-as-a-bad-girl vibe. She's just too... vanilla. For a girl who got pregnant with the guy she cheated on her boyfriend with, then cheated on a new boyfriend with the old one, she really can't pull off "bad girl" that well (I reread that sentence three times to make sure it was right. This show is a soap opera). I appreciate the direction they're trying to go--and I like focusing on something that isn't the Glee club (ironic) or the Cheerios--but Dianna Agron isn't a strong enough actress to own this story.

And sending Rachel to appeal to her was just silly. "We were friends once." Really? Was this just before she stole Finn from you, or when you stole him back from her?

Pro: Kurt and Rachel. Honestly, if they do make a spin-off where they move to New York and start musical theatre careers, I'm there. I love their new best buddy relationship, I love their voices when they sing together, and I love how they can be totally cheesy when they're supporting each other and it doesn't make me want to punch either of them. The combined scenes where they sang "Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead!," went to the NYADA mixer, and cried in the car were my favorite parts of this episode. (Side note: I only watched a couple episodes of The Glee Project, so I didn't realize until these scenes that Lindsay Pearce had such an amazing voice.) I like that Rachel has at least one relationship where she's not competing. Even with Finn (who had blissfully little focus this episode), she seems to always be competing against something for his attention. With Kurt, the relationship seems easy. They can both be talented and driven, but not be at odds with each other (anymore). However, Emma did stress how difficult it is to get into NYADA, so I hope they don't go back to making them competitors.

Con: Sue. Sue went from "that's ridiculous" in season 1 to "I can't believe I'm still watching this" in season 3. Running for Congress on the platform of cutting the arts makes for a funny storyline, but watching Sue destroy the purple piano was almost painful to watch (especially because poor Tina never gets to finish a song). At some point you start to wonder how she's never been arrested for the way she abuses those kids. The only redeeming point of this story was that she made Becky a co-captain, which means we'll get to see more of Lauren Potter this season.

Pro, with a side of con: Kurt and Blaine. While I'm happy their relationship is flourishing (and should continue to do so, now that Blaine is a full-fledged New Direction), they're a little too sappy for me. That being said, I guess they get a few episodes, since I'm sure an openly gay couple at McKinley isn't going to see sunshine and roses for long. Plus, I'd rather see them together than not. (Side note: Emma handing Rachel the Hag brochure was comedy gold.)

Con, with a side of pro: Mercedes and Marcus. First of all, woah, that is one big dude. Secondly, I need a little more convincing on this relationship. I'll admit, I was a bit of a Samcedes shipper, but I am glad Mercedes has a man. However, they've been dating for... what, two to three months? And he's talking babies? At seventeen? Give me a break.

Pro, with a side of con: Wemma. I love the idea of Will and Emma as a couple, I really do (OK, I'm secretly a Sue/Will (Swill?) shipper, but that's not realistic just yet). She's better for him than pretty much anybody else on the show, he's patient with her (his breakdown in Figgins' office was fun), and they're all-around adorable. Or maybe a little Stepford. They make each other's lunches. And were those matching superhero lunchboxes? It's just a little creepy is all I'm saying.

Con, with a side of...con: Sugar. Yes, because if there's a group of people Glee still hasn't made fun of that they really should have, it was people with Asperger's. Not only didn't I see any comedy in this story, but I found it downright offensive (and in the world of Glee, it was really hard to find something more offensive than usual). Yes, she was a spoiled rich kid who was a really bad singer (though the "trying not to be smug" look on Rachel's face when she realized that made me laugh). Who cares? She was as annoying as Rachel without any of the (few) redeeming qualities.

All things considered, this episode was better than many of last season's, but it has the potential to head downhill. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised as the season continues on.

Rating: 4/5

Favorite line:
Kurt [about the YouTube video of Finn kissing Rachel at Nationals]: The comment section is just full of pithy banter, like “Why is that T-Rex eating the Jew?”

Glee - A Very Glee Christmas

Network: Fox
Time: Tuesdays, 8:00-9:00pm
Cast: Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch, Jayma Mays, Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Amber Riley, Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, Mark Salling, Heather Morris, Jenna Ushkowitz, Naya Rivera, Harry Shum Jr.

Summary: Finn tries to bring a little holiday cheer to McKinley High, and Artie discovers that Brittany still believes in Santa. Meanwhile, the teachers pick their Secret Santas, and one manipulative coach rigs the gift-giving in her favor.

Review: Merry Christmas, Gleeks! And what a lovely way to kick off the holiday season.

This was one of my favorite Glee episodes so far. I should admit that there’s some bias; I love Christmas as much as Finn and Brittany do. But I’m usually able to recognize a bad Christmas episode when I see it, and I didn’t see it here.

Like with my latest Castle review, I’m going to start with the weaker aspects and move to the stronger. There were a few things that really struck me as “off” about this episode. The first is that there was absolutely no mention of Chanukah. Considering how much time they’ve spent building Rachel and Puck up as super-Jews, I can’t believe that they didn’t even say the word once. I can forgive there being no Chanukah carols (though how great would it have been for them to duet “Chanukah O Chanukah”?), but it at least deserved a sentence or two.

NOTE: Since I thought of this while I was writing this review, I’d like to put in a request for a Passover episode of Glee, with a Rugrats-style musical reenactment of the exodus from Egypt. Will can be Moses, and Sue can be the Pharaoh. I smell a classic.

The second problem I had with this episode was Kurt. I know that almost all of the last few episodes have focused on him and so it’s okay that he had a smaller part in this one, but I thought there was a serious disconnect between his story and the rest of the show. Perhaps this was done on purpose to show the rift between him and the New Directions, but I doubt it. More likely, they wanted Kurt in the episode and couldn’t find a better way. That being said, I absolutely loved his duet with Blaine. It was probably my favorite number of the night. Their voices meshed together so well, and the little flirting thing they had going on was adorable.

I’m sick of Rachel and Finn. I understand why Finn is mad at her, I really do. He’s been burned by girlfriends (Quinn) before, and now he’s extra sensitive. Rachel shouldn’t have kissed Puck. Fin shouldn’t have lied about Santana. Understood. Can we move on now? No matter how hard they try, Rachel and Finn will never be Rachel and Ross (though, frankly, I found them annoying too). Either get them together or break them apart for good, but pick a side already.

Though I did like Rachel’s hats.

Thus concludes all the negatives. Moving on to the stronger parts of the episode.

The Grinch story. Everything about it, from Sue’s green face paint and gloves to Becky as the reindog (and, oh man, how adorable was she?) to Brittany’s Cindy Lou Who-hair. The only thing it was missing was the roast beast at the end. It was a great enactment of the classic story while staying completely in character for Glee. Winner for best line may have to go to Becky’s, “Christmas came anyway, Coach.”

Also, I’d like to state it now: if Sue and Will are not together at some point in this series (but probably the end), I’ll be shocked.

Equally as strong was Brittany’s story. She and Artie are quickly becoming my favorite Glee couple, and I love that he convinced everyone to play along when he realized she still believed in Santa. Not just played along, actually, but he went out of his way to make sure Christmas didn’t lose its magic for her, including enlisting Beiste to dress up as Santa. Brittany’s face as she watched the Glee kids sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas was priceless (her whispered, “Remember, you have rights,” to the mall elf is also a contender for best line). I’ll even admit to shedding a tear or two when her Christmas wish came true at the end.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and this episode of Glee really got me into the holiday spirit. It’s sad that there won’t be another new episode until February (after the Super Bowl), but at least we don’t have to wait until April this year.

Rating: 4/5

Glee - Pilot

Network: Fox
Time: Wednesday, 9:00-10:00pm
Cast: Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch, Jayma Mays, Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Amber Riley, Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, Dianna Agron, and many more...
Creator: Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuck, Ian Brennan


Summary: To put it quite simply, this is a show about the Glee club in a fairly typical (though slightly insane) high school in America.  Will Schuester, a Spanish teacher and former Glee member, is trying to restore Glee to its former glory (his idea, not mine) by coaching them to win Nationals.  Meanwhile the high school hierarchy is conspiring against him to try to make him realize that, no matter what Glee does, they're still going to be the geeks of the school.


Review: You know how sometimes a show is just so absurd you can't stand it?  The characters seem forced instead of funny, the plot makes you roll your eyes and look away, and the jokes fall completely flat?  Well, that's not Glee.

Think about it: they created a show about a high school Glee club.  I'm looking forward to its spin-offs, the Marching Band and the Chess Club.  But, unlike Drumline--where the marching band was considered the cool thing to be a part of--Glee has much more realistic portrayal of its members.  In other words, they're geeks.

That may be what I appreciate most of this new show, this one inch of realism in what is otherwise an absurdly hilarious program.  Yes, kids who did Glee in high school were considered dorks.  They ranked somewhere above the marching band and somewhere below the soccer team (because, even though soccer is a popular sport everywhere else in the world, Americans scorn it for reasons no one's ever been particularly clear about).  Glee understands that. This show doesn't make the Glee club out to be the coolest thing since Justin Timberlake split from N*Sync.  And if anyone thinks differently, there are football players and cheerleaders (aptly called the Cheerios) who are more than willing to put them in their place.

Other than this smidgen of reality, however, Glee tries really hard to make everything else... completely implausible.  Let's start with Sue Sylvester, the head coach of the Cheerios.  Sue is mean.  Very, very mean.  She likes to win, and she doesn't care who she runs over in the process.  She doesn't seem to care thar she's working with children.  In fact, she doesn't even seem to LIKE children.  No real principal would ever let her stay employed.

Then there's Will Schuester, the main character.  Will is probably the only somewhat normal person, and even that's stretching it a little.  Will is a Glee-club graduates who's trying to relive his high school glory days--back when Glee was cool.  I don't know when exactly Glee was cool, but Will seems to think it was, and he's trying to get it back to that status.  Good luck with that.

Meanwhile, his wife--who is probably the most psychotic character on the show (and that's saying something)--is pregnant.  And instead of cutting back on expenses in preparation for the really expensive bundle of joy they're expecting, she pressures Will to quit Glee and get a better job to support her in the manner to which she hopes one day to become accustomed.

And then there's Emma, the OCD guidance counselor who's in love with Will.  There's not really much more that needs to be said about her.  That pretty much sums it up.

As for students, well, they're certainly... diverse.  There's Rachel, who believes she's the only good singer in the Glee club.  There's Finn, the high school quaterback who Will blackmails into becoming a singer as well.  His girlfriend Quinn (yes, Finn and Quinn... say that five times fast), who's the head Cheerio and never (I mean, never) takes her uniform off.  She and Finn are also the co-Presidents of McKinley High School's chastity club.  And there's effeminate Kurt; tough, gutsy Mercedes; stuttering Tina; crippled Artie; and a ton more.  I couldn't list them all if I tried.

Long (long, long) story short: this is definitely a show to check out.  It takes stereotypes and enhances them to the point of hilarity.  It is absurd, but in the best way possible.  For a change, absurdity actually makes the show funnier.  The characters all have their annoying quirks, but there's a little something about (almost) all of them that makes them really lovable despite their faults.  Plus, there's singing in every episode (this episode had a really great version of Don't Stop Believing by Journey).  And, really, what isn't made better by a musical number?

Rating (this episode):
[1] Run in the other direction
[2] Don't bother
[3] Worth a watch if you've got nothing better to do
[4] Definitely try it out
[5] A total keeper